Nighttime Comics Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

Television's prominent entertainers devoted their airtime ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a mock Christmas tune about the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the new initiative that permits foreign citizens to acquire U.S. residency for a sum of one million dollars, with a "platinum" option for $5 million. The program's page promises approval "in record time."

"One message for you to rich applicants: before you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He noted that the program is also intended to "extract cash" from businesses wanting to hire skilled workers, requiring hefty payments. "That's a lot of fees, however if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow rich foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll ratings amid financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a bid to address cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of food items, and reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.